


Listen to This!

by Kestral



Category: Protean City Comics (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, PCOY, kids getting to hang out and be kids, takes place right after volume 22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:06:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28558071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kestral/pseuds/Kestral
Summary: Sage recorded some hilarious audio, and who better to share that with than Ben?
Kudos: 5





	Listen to This!

Re: Can I have those files?

Dear Nightowl,

Thank you for your email and for the save from the Steam Society. You’re right that the audio we recorded today is not fit for our show since virtually everything said during the interview was false. I’m happy to send the recording your way though. You and your friends were a colorful cast of characters; I hope that the next time I interview you your accent will be more consistent.

Your group enters around 19 minutes in.

Best wishes,

Rachel Raymond

Protean Public Media

Sage ran down the hallway at PCOY, socked feet thumping across the old wood floor. She planted her feet just so that she slid to a stop right in front of Ben’s door.

She knocked quickly. “Ben, omg Ben can I come in?”

“Sage? Yeah, hold on.” There was the sound of several clunks and a clatter, then a drawer slamming shut.

Ben opened the door. “Hey, what’s happening?” he said, concerned. He looked past her to see if there was trouble in the hallway.

“What?” She was offput for a moment, then hit by the realization that things had not returned to normal yet. He still saw her seeking him out as a sign of trouble. How long it had been since she’d gone to hang out with Ben just because she wanted to, not because anything was literally or figuratively on fire? “Oh, nothing’s wrong. Just, want to listen to something hilarious?”

His shoulders relaxed and tension melted away as he grinned. “Of course. Come on in.”

She walked in and flopped down on his beanbag chair, unlocking her phone as she adjusted about to get comfy. He sat down on his computer chair and kicked back, swiveling to face her.

“Okay, she said it was like 19 minutes in.” She fidgeted with the slider, the touch screen not quite precise enough to narrow in on the time she wanted. “Okay, that’s, oh nope, okay nearly there, hopefully that’s good.”

She hits play, and the sound came out through Ben’s speakers instead of her phone.

_“-and Away Radio program. We are sitting again with Sohcahtoa, who has just brought-“_

“Oh!” Ben said. “Kalino’s back and he’s already got an interview?”

“No,” Sage shook her head. “Some fucking _guy_ was impersonating him, but we already took care of that. Just listen.”

Ben raised his eyebrows but kept listening.

_“-and we’re going to have a little chat about them and their experiences fighting alongside Sohcahtoa and what they think about the great hero. Uh, would you all introduce yourselves?”_

_“Hello, I am the hero known as Arcana.”_

Ben snorted the instant Alina started talking. “That’s Alina, right?”

Sage grinned and raised her eyebrows.

He talked over Alina’s awkward introduction. “What’s she doing? I mean, it does disguise her voice but what’s she even doing?”

“Just wait, it gets better,” Sage watched his face, eager to see his reaction.

_“Yo! Yo yo I’m NightOWL!”_

Ben fell off his chair. The audio paused as he scrambled, the chair spinning above him.

She cackled.

“Sage _why?_ What were you doing?”

“Listen,” she leaned forward conspiratorially. “They took me seriously. They had to take me seriously while I was doing _that_ for the whole interview.”

“That’s incredible.” He climbed back into the chair. “We’re listening to that again.”

_“Yo! Yo yo I’m NightOWL! In the night-time like HOOT! Sohcahtoa’s the bomb dot com!”_

Ben paused it again. “You know what I’m going to have to do, right?”

“What?”

He could barely get through the next sentence without laughing. “I’m taking this and making it the ringtone for when you call me.”

“Good!” She leaned back.

He played back through Sage’s introduction again, giggling to himself.

“Oh,” she said as David Diamond started speaking. “You might want to skip past this, I actually feel really bad for Kalino here. You probably just want to listen to the parts where I’m talking.”

“Same as always then?” He crossed his arms and smirked at her.

“What? Hey!” Beans shuffled around her as she pushed herself upright. “I didn’t mean it like that!” She grabbed a pillow off his bed and threw it at his face.

He caught it and threw back down at her. “So what did you meant it like?”

She held the pillow against her as she leaned forward. “Just that, it won’t be funny listening to him like me and Alina. We were, I mean I was definitely goofing around -I don’t know what Alina was doing- but Fauxcahtoa had like, kidnapped Isaac and brainwashed him to not recognize Kalino and turned him into a horse. So sure we were all trying to embarrass Fauxcahtoa, but he wasn’t having a lot of fun with it.”

“Oh,” he said. “Wow, that seriously isn’t cool.”

On the recording, Kalino’s voice dripped with sarcasm and the stranger continued on with a false bravado, not caring about what that vitriol meant.

“So what happened?”

“Shh, shh, hold on.” She waved her hand at him.

_”Yo can you tell us the story of how you got knighted by the quEEeeen?”_

Ben banged his knee on his desk as he jerked forward. “Shit! God damn it Sage,” he laughed. “Why are you from Jersey now?”

“I don’t know. Alina became more and more British as the interview went on.”

The chair spun as he rubbed his knee. “I’m texting Kalino.”

“That’d be good.” She retreated back into the beanbag, hugging the pillow. “He said he was fine and that he wanted to spend time with Isaac, but it might’ve been just, you know, Alina and me. We’re not…” She searched for words and didn’t like any that she was coming up with. “You know how we are.”

He didn’t say anything, just stared out the window with a look of focus, composing a text and sending it.

Alina’s British accent began. _“Yes it’s really been a process, just with all the contractors and all of the decorators. Um I think he’s done a fabulous job, don’t you?”  
“I had no idea you were so old!”_

_“Yeah, it was quite convincing. All this time we had thought that Sohcahtoa was school-aged child, just like us.”_

“I get the feeling,” Ben said, “that the only reason you got away with these voices is that he knew what would happen if he started accusing anyone of faking it.”

“Oh yeah, definitely. He’d actually already heard us talking normally, too. And we changed the story about how we ended up inside his castle multiple times.”

He nodded, smiling. He looked young again, a kid at home enjoying a prank, not a leader of a rebellion. “This whole recording is a gift. I’m going to cherish it forever.”

“You better,” her eyes twinkled with the same mischievous glee as his. “You’re welcome.”

“Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't stop imagining this scene once I thought about it so here it is. I thought it was going to exclusively goofy but I have a new appreciation for how hard it is for Protean City Comics to put out a "Happy" episode.


End file.
